Forțele cecene, ieri după masă, lângă Kiev

Aveam acest script din scena de început a filmului Postal, de Uwe Boll. Căutați filmul pe YouTube.

Airplane cockpit, two pilots, middle easterners by their skin, talking foreign accent English.

– Congratulations, Anabi. We are at the doorstep of our martirdom.
– Praise the lord!
– Praise him! Soon we will be greated by Allah, the one true good, and by the cheers of our forefathers, and by 99 perfect virgins that will worship us for all eternity!
– I thought it was 100 …
– What’s that?
– They promised me 100 virgins when I signed up.
– 99, 100… what’s the difference?
– If they are telling you one thing, and then tell me another, then maybe they don’t know for sure …
– Maybe… Maybe the exact number of virgins is not precise …
– Maybe … I mean, if it’s in the ’90s, I could live with that …
– Or 75 …
– Hey, I’m not gready, but what if it’s 10 …
– Well …
– What if it’s 10, but we have to split them between us?
– Then you will have 5 more virgins than you have right now, right?
– We are talking about eternity here! How long 5 virgins will last? Maybe a month? They are not going to be virgins for long, right?
– Look, would you feel better if I call the big guy?
– Yes.
– Take the stick!

The guy is calling a number on the cellphone.

– Osama, Sasif here. No, we are on it, yeah, everything fine, security takes forever, what can you do about it. Anyways, Anabi has a question, would you talk to him?
Anabi doesn’t want to talk, they gesture, finally he takes the cellphone.
– Heloooow! Yes … It’s about the virgins… Really? It was 100 when I signed up… He says there are not that many anymore…
– What?
– Too many martirs than the virgins going around…
– You’ve got to be kidding me, does he know what we are here for? Give me the phone, take the stick!
Osama, Sasif. Right now, can you tell me the number absolutely that you can guarantee, for Anabi and myself, as far as virgins are concerned?
Pause …
– No, that’s fine … closes the cellphone.

Looks disoriented …
– He can’t guarantee more than 20 …
After looking out the window:
– Screw this, right?
– I’m glad you said it first.
– Get to the intercomm … Passengers, we are changing course to the Bahamas!